People: Why aren’t you married yet?🤨

THE HOT SEAT SURVEY

John, 30

For some whenever this question is posed, they may become defensive and annoyed as they try to compose themselves to respond in a manner that does not appear rude or condescending. This feeling maybe as a result of the frequency of the question not necessarily from the person asking but just hearing it repeatedly that hits one’s nerve. The reality is that it does not mean that one does not have aspirations of being married. There are several factors that can be at play that could delay one’s decision. Not limited but may include financial stability, personal growth, education or existing intimate romantic relationships that may not have sync with one’s experiences and willingness to cope. On a personal note, it takes better understanding of who you are and being honest with one’s self about who you want for a mate for the rest of your life. During the process of developing into the best you to complete your future mate, remain positive and realistic.

Michael, 34

Sometimes I feel pressured like they are expecting ME to be married already. Marriage is a serious matter. Therefore, I believe finding someone who is committed to the cause is the key for me. I feel frustrated and my response will always remain, “When I am ready or find the right person, I will do it.”

Melissa, 26

Why are people forcing me to get married? Everyone’s timing is different. Some people got married later than others and they are happy. Some rushed into marriage and they are unhappy. At the end of the day, I am waiting on God’s timing. Currently, my boyfriend is overseas attending college and he would like to be able to pay for his wedding.

Tamchin, 30

When persons ask why I am not married yet, it annoys me. I often roll my eyes and gasp before answering. Sometimes I just smile and shrug my shoulders. Other times I would say things like: I haven’t met the right person yet or God is still making my husband because he has to be made specially for me and even saying, no one is courting me at this time and women are not to chase men so I have to wait for them to chase me.

Omar, 25

Dwl 🤣 if I was gonna be rude, I would say the same reason you’re not dead yet. But personally it’s just not my time yet.

Marlene, 42

People think I am married with children. It depends on who ask the question, sometimes I say I have someone just to avoid the trouble. In reality, I wish I had a husband. Sometimes it’s not easy being alone. I have not met the right person as yet.

Kevin, 27

At times it is rather overwhelming having to repeat myself about the same question. However, I have no problem stating the facts. I haven’t found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is a lifetime commitment and I want to be sure that my life partner is someone who takes my breath away literally. My breathing pattern has changed, my mood has changed just because that person is not around and once she is here, then my whole world will be complete.

Abi, 23

The question makes me feel somewhat anxious and stimulates a plethora of thoughts in my mind. One of those thoughts being that I observe several of my friends and college mates getting married and though I am happy for them, nothing seems to be happening for me. In my search for a suitable mate, I have been repeatedly unsuccessful. The men I have encountered are always either unsuitable or already “taken”. Still waiting for the right person to come along.

Anthony, 32

Nobody wants me.They don’t normally ask. Most people assume that I already am married.

Sophia, 29

I am not married because I do not believe that God has shown me the person with whom I can get along unconditionally. Or it might be that the person to whom I was supposed to get married I somehow, unfortunately, overlooked and I have now missed out on the opportunity. I get so annoyed, bothered and irritated when I am asked the question.

Marie, 41

People are idle and should leave my personal life alone. I get this question all the time. My favourite response is, “Why buy the whole pig for just the sausage!”

Edward, 36

Who said I wasn’t married? 😂 I’m actually divorced. The summary of that is “to see a person or someone and to live with them are two different things”. People change.

Natalie, 29

This question does not bother me. Personally marriage is a lifetime commitment and who I want to spend it with has a lot to do with it. I’ve dated persons with the intention of marriage. Once I find there is a lack of communication, dishonesty, disloyalty and disrespect then it is a strong possibilty the relationship will fail.Relationship is teamwork; not I do and you do differently. It’s working together, placing God at the center not only when things go bad. These were lacking in my previous relationships, so now I choose to be single.

Bryan, 24

I’m not married yet because I have not chosen to pursue a specific person yet and my last relationship didn’t work out. I feel fine when asked this question. If I was older, I would probably be more defensive about it.

Odette, 49

“What do you mean? What am I awaiting on? I am waiting to get pregnant first.” 😂🤣This is my usual response for the last nine years. These people are crazy. A good man is so hard to find. I have gotten so used to this question, it does not drive me nuts anymore.

Richard, 36

I was not expecting this question. The reason I am not yet married is simple. In my opinion, I believe whomever I marry may influence whether I go to heaven or hell based on their energy. Secondly, it also depends on my happiness when I am with this person. I must be honest, I have not found the person yet.

Kimberly, 31

It makes me wonder if that is what we must aim for as women. The title of being someone’s wife, is that what we are reduced to? I normally tell people that since my unmarried state upsets them, find me a husband that will not annoy me. For me, I don’t think I have found the right person. Someone who is my other half. At this stage, I often think that I don’t want to get married because I am quite contented with where I am at now.

George, 45

I have met the woman I want to be my wife. But she has turned down my proposal two times. I avoid answering these questions.

Dream, 31

I cringe whenever this question is asked. I am usually caught off guard and left embarrassingly speechless. There are times when I find a way to change the subject or make a joke out of it. If I do respond, my answers are never reassuring or enough because I keep on getting this question.🤔

This was the most uncomfortable social experiment that I have ever done because I am not one to pry into people’s personal lives. On the other hand, it has opened a window into how others truly feel about this sensitive question:Why aren’t you married yet? I am grateful for all the volunteers who have shared their candid responses.Special commendations to them because they have made this post a reality. I could not have done it without them.

Please remember to subscribe, like, share and comment below. We love hearing your views. Thank you for reading the post! Have a beautiful day!😊

-D.K.B.

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September 30, 2020February 9, 2021 by Dear Dream Tags: marriage, relationship, single, singleness 20 Comments

HaPpiLy Ever after …🤔Single

Dear Dream,

One day, i was sitting in church during a sermon, when an elderly woman behind me kept peeping over my shoulders. Originally, I thought i was blocking her from seeing the pulpit. Her actions were becoming a distraction and I began to feel uncomfortable. So I turned to the side to give her a better view. However, i then realized that she was more concerned about my hands; as my hands became the center of her fascination. With curious eyes i stared at her. With outstretched hands she lightly patted my shoulders and whispered in my ear, “Wow! Can i see your engagement ring?” It was an awkward moment because I knew i wasnt wearing a ring. I wasnt even dating yet alone engaged.

Since i have started a new page, everyone wants to know when i am getting married? I can not count the amount of persons i have disappointed since i am not able to provide the answers they are seeking. Now my parents are debating on when they are getting grandchildren. Even my siblings are already awaiting the title of ‘uncle’. They have not made it easy since everyone is now singing the same tune that i am not getting younger.It would seem like i am not living a productive life.

As a single woman over thirty, i never knew that so much pressure would be placed on me to get married and have children. You should hear some of the comments people make as if it is not hard enough to meet the right person. “When i was your age, i had a husband and three children already,” chimed my nosy neighbour. I can remember wishing my godmother ‘Happy Mother’s Day ‘ recently and she gingerly responded, “When will I return the sentiment?”

I often wondered if men feel this immense pressure too. Do they feel like they are a burden to their parents because they are not married? Has it ever crossed their minds that they are getting older and they are running out of time? Are they being constantly told by family members and friends that they are not a ‘real man’ because they have not ventured into the next journey of life called ‘marriage’? Most importantly, is it a dire need for them to have children to carry on the family name?

In your journey of singleness, no one bothers to mention that it can be fulfilling. There are hardly people around to share how contented, peaceful and free they are in this phase of self discovery and self-improvement. No one tells of how satisfying it is to serve God and help others in this period. In fact, ‘Singleness’ and ‘loneliness’ are two words that a few of my friends would consider as members of the same family. As a result, i never get the impression from them that being single was ever a blessing.

When you are single very few people see your life as purposeful and happy. In my recollection, the term ‘Happily ever after’ never describes just the life of a single individual. The term usually comes at the end of a fairy tale, a good movie or even at the end of a wedding when the couple starts their journey together. There are so many people in this world who will never get married. Would it be fair to say that these persons will only experience “happily ever after’ only if they are married?

-Daneika K. Brackett (D.K.B)

Please subscribe, like, share and comment below.Thanks for reading my post! Have a peaceful day!😊

June 1, 2020October 25, 2020 by Dear Dream Tags: alone, blessing, boyfriend, engaged, engagement ring, fairy tale, family, freedom, frre, girlfriend, God, happily ever after, happiness, independence, journey, loneliness, love, marriage, peace, relationship, single, singleness, wedding ring 54 Comments