HaPpiLy Ever after …🤔Single

Dear Dream,

One day, i was sitting in church during a sermon, when an elderly woman behind me kept peeping over my shoulders. Originally, I thought i was blocking her from seeing the pulpit. Her actions were becoming a distraction and I began to feel uncomfortable. So I turned to the side to give her a better view. However, i then realized that she was more concerned about my hands; as my hands became the center of her fascination. With curious eyes i stared at her. With outstretched hands she lightly patted my shoulders and whispered in my ear, “Wow! Can i see your engagement ring?” It was an awkward moment because I knew i wasnt wearing a ring. I wasnt even dating yet alone engaged.

Since i have started a new page, everyone wants to know when i am getting married? I can not count the amount of persons i have disappointed since i am not able to provide the answers they are seeking. Now my parents are debating on when they are getting grandchildren. Even my siblings are already awaiting the title of ‘uncle’. They have not made it easy since everyone is now singing the same tune that i am not getting younger.It would seem like i am not living a productive life.

As a single woman over thirty, i never knew that so much pressure would be placed on me to get married and have children. You should hear some of the comments people make as if it is not hard enough to meet the right person. “When i was your age, i had a husband and three children already,” chimed my nosy neighbour. I can remember wishing my godmother ‘Happy Mother’s Day ‘ recently and she gingerly responded, “When will I return the sentiment?”

I often wondered if men feel this immense pressure too. Do they feel like they are a burden to their parents because they are not married? Has it ever crossed their minds that they are getting older and they are running out of time? Are they being constantly told by family members and friends that they are not a ‘real man’ because they have not ventured into the next journey of life called ‘marriage’? Most importantly, is it a dire need for them to have children to carry on the family name?

In your journey of singleness, no one bothers to mention that it can be fulfilling. There are hardly people around to share how contented, peaceful and free they are in this phase of self discovery and self-improvement. No one tells of how satisfying it is to serve God and help others in this period. In fact, ‘Singleness’ and ‘loneliness’ are two words that a few of my friends would consider as members of the same family. As a result, i never get the impression from them that being single was ever a blessing.

When you are single very few people see your life as purposeful and happy. In my recollection, the term ‘Happily ever after’ never describes just the life of a single individual. The term usually comes at the end of a fairy tale, a good movie or even at the end of a wedding when the couple starts their journey together. There are so many people in this world who will never get married. Would it be fair to say that these persons will only experience “happily ever after’ only if they are married?

-Daneika K. Brackett (D.K.B)

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With this ring Part 2

The drama unfolded about two years ago. It was the day before my graduation, and I was deleting all my coursework on my boyfriend’s laptop. Back then, I thought about surprising him by removing all the junk I had on it. Unknown to me that I would be the one who would be surprisingly shocked, and this would change the trajectory of our relationship forever.

We had been together for four years and had invested so much in each other. However, the laptop held a secret that was older than our relationship. It was not seen before and now that it was discovered, it could not be overlooked.

I clicked on the first recording and fear gripped me, I was dumbstruck and sweating profusely even though it was a cool and calm evening outside. The familiar soft-spoken voice was not a breath of fresh air as she reminisced on the passionate loving making skills of the man I loved. I had never felt so weak, shocked, angry, disappointed and in disbelief that this could happen in a relationship that I was sure about. How could this happen to me? What did I do wrong? And with her? Wait a minute! Did she say that she was pregnant? By this time, I was grasping for air as a whirlwind of questions and thoughts kept rotating in my mind.

You can only imagine what happened next. In that moment, I felt we were living a lie. How could he profess his love for me and then take another woman in his arms? The plot thickens, who is this familiar voice and is she pregnant?

-D.K.B

With this ring…

“Love is patient. Love is kind…”

— 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV  

Dear Dream,

My graduation should have been one of the happiest days of my life. I had to work hard and suffer many sleepless nights. But even then, it was still not enough. At one point, i was denied the privilege to graduate but within twenty-four hours God had made it possible.

So you can just imagine that with such great accomplishment, my loving family and friends would have traveled from near and far just to celebrate with me on that momentous occasion. That day also had marked the anniversary of a special friendship and i was hoping i would have heard the ring of wedding bells.

Instead on that day, my heavy eye lids fought long and hard to hold back the tears as i had just discovered that the relationship i had happily been apart of for four years was only a lie.

I was not the only woman.

… to be continued

-D.K.B