THE HOT SEAT SURVEY
For some whenever this question is posed, they may become defensive and annoyed as they try to compose themselves to respond in a manner that does not appear rude or condescending. This feeling maybe as a result of the frequency of the question not necessarily from the person asking but just hearing it repeatedly that hits one’s nerve. The reality is that it does not mean that one does not have aspirations of being married. There are several factors that can be at play that could delay one’s decision. Not limited but may include financial stability, personal growth, education or existing intimate romantic relationships that may not have sync with one’s experiences and willingness to cope. On a personal note, it takes better understanding of who you are and being honest with one’s self about who you want for a mate for the rest of your life. During the process of developing into the best you to complete your future mate, remain positive and realistic.
Sometimes I feel pressured like they are expecting ME to be married already. Marriage is a serious matter. Therefore, I believe finding someone who is committed to the cause is the key for me. I feel frustrated and my response will always remain, “When I am ready or find the right person, I will do it.”
Why are people forcing me to get married? Everyone’s timing is different. Some people got married later than others and they are happy. Some rushed into marriage and they are unhappy. At the end of the day, I am waiting on God’s timing. Currently, my boyfriend is overseas attending college and he would like to be able to pay for his wedding.
When persons ask why I am not married yet, it annoys me. I often roll my eyes and gasp before answering. Sometimes I just smile and shrug my shoulders. Other times I would say things like: I haven’t met the right person yet or God is still making my husband because he has to be made specially for me and even saying, no one is courting me at this time and women are not to chase men so I have to wait for them to chase me.
Dwl 🤣 if I was gonna be rude, I would say the same reason you’re not dead yet. But personally it’s just not my time yet.
People think I am married with children. It depends on who ask the question, sometimes I say I have someone just to avoid the trouble. In reality, I wish I had a husband. Sometimes it’s not easy being alone. I have not met the right person as yet.
At times it is rather overwhelming having to repeat myself about the same question. However, I have no problem stating the facts. I haven’t found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is a lifetime commitment and I want to be sure that my life partner is someone who takes my breath away literally. My breathing pattern has changed, my mood has changed just because that person is not around and once she is here, then my whole world will be complete.
The question makes me feel somewhat anxious and stimulates a plethora of thoughts in my mind. One of those thoughts being that I observe several of my friends and college mates getting married and though I am happy for them, nothing seems to be happening for me. In my search for a suitable mate, I have been repeatedly unsuccessful. The men I have encountered are always either unsuitable or already “taken”. Still waiting for the right person to come along.
Nobody wants me.They don’t normally ask. Most people assume that I already am married.
I am not married because I do not believe that God has shown me the person with whom I can get along unconditionally. Or it might be that the person to whom I was supposed to get married I somehow, unfortunately, overlooked and I have now missed out on the opportunity. I get so annoyed, bothered and irritated when I am asked the question.
People are idle and should leave my personal life alone. I get this question all the time. My favourite response is, “Why buy the whole pig for just the sausage!”
Who said I wasn’t married? 😂 I’m actually divorced. The summary of that is “to see a person or someone and to live with them are two different things”. People change.
This question does not bother me. Personally marriage is a lifetime commitment and who I want to spend it with has a lot to do with it. I’ve dated persons with the intention of marriage. Once I find there is a lack of communication, dishonesty, disloyalty and disrespect then it is a strong possibilty the relationship will fail.Relationship is teamwork; not I do and you do differently. It’s working together, placing God at the center not only when things go bad. These were lacking in my previous relationships, so now I choose to be single.
I’m not married yet because I have not chosen to pursue a specific person yet and my last relationship didn’t work out. I feel fine when asked this question. If I was older, I would probably be more defensive about it.
“What do you mean? What am I awaiting on? I am waiting to get pregnant first.” 😂🤣This is my usual response for the last nine years. These people are crazy. A good man is so hard to find. I have gotten so used to this question, it does not drive me nuts anymore.
I was not expecting this question. The reason I am not yet married is simple. In my opinion, I believe whomever I marry may influence whether I go to heaven or hell based on their energy. Secondly, it also depends on my happiness when I am with this person. I must be honest, I have not found the person yet.
It makes me wonder if that is what we must aim for as women. The title of being someone’s wife, is that what we are reduced to? I normally tell people that since my unmarried state upsets them, find me a husband that will not annoy me. For me, I don’t think I have found the right person. Someone who is my other half. At this stage, I often think that I don’t want to get married because I am quite contented with where I am at now.
I have met the woman I want to be my wife. But she has turned down my proposal two times. I avoid answering these questions.
I cringe whenever this question is asked. I am usually caught off guard and left embarrassingly speechless. There are times when I find a way to change the subject or make a joke out of it. If I do respond, my answers are never reassuring or enough because I keep on getting this question.🤔
This was the most uncomfortable social experiment that I have ever done because I am not one to pry into people’s personal lives. On the other hand, it has opened a window into how others truly feel about this sensitive question:Why aren’t you married yet? I am grateful for all the volunteers who have shared their candid responses.Special commendations to them because they have made this post a reality. I could not have done it without them.
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