PuPpY Love…šŸ”„Quenching the thirst or Cooling the flame?

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” -Amos 3:3 KJV

Dear Dream,

John and I have known each other for over 25 years. We lived and played in the same volatile community as neighbors. For six years, we attended the same primary school and sat in the same classes. However, things changed when we went to different traditional high schools. Even though our high schools were located next to each other, our paths never crossed. We were in close proximity yet distance apart. The English phrase that best epitomized our relationship in high school was ‘out of sight, out of mind’ in other words ‘forgotten like tears in the rain’. He moved away and we never saw each other again until many years later.

In a more distant time when we were innocent and angelic, John was my first crush. At an earlier age, I distinctly remembered that he had the kindest eyes, a winsome smile and a good-natured spirit. He was smart, playful and caring. My interest for him grew more when he became my neighbor. We had so much fun telling stories, playing with marbles and elastic bands, jumping ropes, somersaulting across the open space and even re-enacting the roles of a teacher in a classroom with all our friends who lived close by.

Most times without warning, our fun would be interrupted by the beckoning call of his mother for him to return inside the house. As expected, we were always on the lookout for any approaching vehicle when his mother was not at home. This was his cue to retreat from ‘idle play’ as his mother would often dub our daily escapades. John and I remained friends throughout our early childhood years. In fact, the crush I had on him was kept a secret when I saw that he was happy with the beautiful Gina.

Surprisingly, John and I chose the same profession. I found this out when I saw him on my first day at my new job. At that time, I was working in a rural community many miles away from the city and in the least likely place to reconnect or to be working with a former schoolmate. I had recently moved from my old neighborhood to a more peaceful, residential area in the city. I could not believe that John and I were also living on the same adjoining street. I spent eight months at my workplace and even though I loved the cool, fresh countryside air, I was very much in love with the city and I had found another job closer to home. You would not believe this, but unintentionally John and I resigned from our job the same day for the very same reason.

Shortly before I had resigned from my job, we had a moment of truth that would seem that neither of us was willing to hear. It came in the form of a question when our coworker wanted to know if we had ever considered dating each other. I assumed that he was embarrassed because of the horrid look that washed his face when he begged me not to answer. I was more than happy to honor his request because I was afraid of being rejected and I did not want to discourage him by saying I was dating someone else. However, it became one of my deepest regrets of not knowing how he felt about me.

We have managed to dodge our feelings of each other whether they were mutual or not.  If I were to be honest, I have thought about dating John before and for the longest time wanted to tell him that he was my first crush. Sadly, even if we wanted to date now, it would seem impossible as we share a different Christian faith that would encourage both of us not to date each other.

An unhappy friend of mine shared that her relationship with her husband who is of a different faith was burdensome. She further complained that it was hard to work together when they were hardly ever on the same page. The differences in values, views and beliefs were always the things they argued about most and it became even more evident when they started their family that it was not the marriage they were expecting. Her advice was to not to quench the thirst of wanting to date John. Instead, I should cool the flames by moving on with my life by just remaining as friends. Is she right? What do you think?

P.S. John if you are reading this, being yourself is all you have to do to make my head spin.

Please subscribe, like, share and comment below. Thanks for reading my post! Have a lovely day!

-D.K.B

7 thoughts on “PuPpY Love…šŸ”„Quenching the thirst or Cooling the flame?

  1. Paul makes it quite clear in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that we are to be very careful who we choose to “yoke” ourselves to. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” While this does not apply exclusively to marriage, it certainly falls within this idea. It seems clear that a believer and an unbeliever should not get married, but what about Christians who do not share views? I believe that marriage between differing denominations should be discouraged. It is certainly possible to have a working marriage, but as has been stated in the post, it leads to frequent and unnecessary problems. If you genuinely believe in your convictions, how could you ever be fully happy married to someone who does not share those beliefs? Study the word of God, be certain in your convictions, and do not settle for anything less than the whole truth. Be with someone who shares that desire rather than giving in to hormones. A relationship needs more than just “love”, it needs a foundation. Let that foundation be Jesus Christ, and the truth of His Word. God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No easy answers my friend. Life is not 2+2= 4
    I would have said if one really loved then religious differences shouldnā€™t matter. But in your case it is about starting to date.
    Only you would know how important the religious beliefs are to you. If both of you would continue on your own paths it would surely be tough to navigate.
    I suggest meditate for a while and then ask the God you believe in or the universe as to what you should do. Go ahead and do it.
    Another sensible thing is to date and discuss things out and take the call of marriage when both of you would be more informed.
    All the best you. May God be with you

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is always a pleasure to read your blogs and to anticipate what’s next is very thrilling.
    I may not be able to speak from your experience but unequal yoke are challenging to deal with especially in a relationship. If you both are fine just being friends consider the possibilities that if either should flip the dice, is it worth a good friendship if it doesn’t work out or maybe it will bring you guys closer. Just saying…

    Liked by 2 people

    • @Alexia I am happy you are a fan of my blog. Thank you are sharing. Many will share that it is a sticky issue. Please share below if anyone has ever dealt with this before.

      Like

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