HaPpiLy Ever after …🤔Single

Dear Dream,

One day, i was sitting in church during a sermon, when an elderly woman behind me kept peeping over my shoulders. Originally, I thought i was blocking her from seeing the pulpit. Her actions were becoming a distraction and I began to feel uncomfortable. So I turned to the side to give her a better view. However, i then realized that she was more concerned about my hands; as my hands became the center of her fascination. With curious eyes i stared at her. With outstretched hands she lightly patted my shoulders and whispered in my ear, “Wow! Can i see your engagement ring?” It was an awkward moment because I knew i wasnt wearing a ring. I wasnt even dating yet alone engaged.

Since i have started a new page, everyone wants to know when i am getting married? I can not count the amount of persons i have disappointed since i am not able to provide the answers they are seeking. Now my parents are debating on when they are getting grandchildren. Even my siblings are already awaiting the title of ‘uncle’. They have not made it easy since everyone is now singing the same tune that i am not getting younger.It would seem like i am not living a productive life.

As a single woman over thirty, i never knew that so much pressure would be placed on me to get married and have children. You should hear some of the comments people make as if it is not hard enough to meet the right person. “When i was your age, i had a husband and three children already,” chimed my nosy neighbour. I can remember wishing my godmother ‘Happy Mother’s Day ‘ recently and she gingerly responded, “When will I return the sentiment?”

I often wondered if men feel this immense pressure too. Do they feel like they are a burden to their parents because they are not married? Has it ever crossed their minds that they are getting older and they are running out of time? Are they being constantly told by family members and friends that they are not a ‘real man’ because they have not ventured into the next journey of life called ‘marriage’? Most importantly, is it a dire need for them to have children to carry on the family name?

In your journey of singleness, no one bothers to mention that it can be fulfilling. There are hardly people around to share how contented, peaceful and free they are in this phase of self discovery and self-improvement. No one tells of how satisfying it is to serve God and help others in this period. In fact, ‘Singleness’ and ‘loneliness’ are two words that a few of my friends would consider as members of the same family. As a result, i never get the impression from them that being single was ever a blessing.

When you are single very few people see your life as purposeful and happy. In my recollection, the term ‘Happily ever after’ never describes just the life of a single individual. The term usually comes at the end of a fairy tale, a good movie or even at the end of a wedding when the couple starts their journey together. There are so many people in this world who will never get married. Would it be fair to say that these persons will only experience “happily ever after’ only if they are married?

-Daneika K. Brackett (D.K.B)

Please subscribe, like, share and comment below.Thanks for reading my post! Have a peaceful day!😊

54 thoughts on “HaPpiLy Ever after …🤔Single

    • @JayJay Thank you so much for taking the time to share and encourage. Your positive words mean a lot to me. Sometimes our present realities are hard to face and to find delight in especially when we are trying to live up to the expectations of so many people. Being honest about my journey has been a liberating experience for me. I no longer feel fearful, less than or limited because I know that with God my life has endless possibilities and everything will happen in its own time. I feel good to step outside of the box called ‘people’s expectations’ and just love, respect and appreciate me. No pressure, my journey has definitely made me into a better version of myself.

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    • @Zamy I am happy you are passionate about the topic. I agree with you. Singleness is not an abnormality either. I just hope no one is drowning in depression because marriage has not happened yet. In time it may or may not happen. It doesnt not mean that your life is over and that you can not live a fulfilling life. Through this blog I have met some inspiring singles who are happy and at peace. They are doing amazing things with their life and positively impacting the world at large. Thank you for reading and sharing on my post😊.

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        • Yes Ms. Zamy you are right-on about being single. The reality is, we are not in heaven and the world we reside in is of divide and conquer. Marriage challenges in today’s world are not always safe as you so put to drown in depression; which is found in today’s marriages. Perhaps if couples were to leave money out of the equation of Love and marriage may show a greater benefit toward soulmates with less sacrificial challenge. I really think our greatest challenge is within our digestive system.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Yes yes…true words
            You see the problem with marriages basically stems from half baked singles – singles who failed to utilise their single seasons for wholeness and now waiting on another broken human to complete instead of complementing them.

            I strongly believe that If we gain perspective on the blessing of singleness,we’d have better marriages.

            A well utilised single season will help lift a lot of personal foibles and thus promote a happy union as they progress in love.

            Thank you for sharing.

            Liked by 1 person

  1. This is so true and it has been a thought that I have struggled with for years. I’m learning now that Being single isn’t ”that” bad lol and I’m learning that now minus the times I have my self pity moments lol but I do still pray for God to send me a husband and I’ll wait until God says that’s for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am also right over 30. Someone who kept giving me a bad time over being single told me God isn’t worried about finding you a boyfriend. He is too busy. I told her that was a lie and that God knew the number of hairs on my head. People will say anything!

    So one day when she walked in and mocked saying “She just thinks a man is going to fall through her roof.”
    I said, “I do believe that and when that happens I don’t care what time of day or night it is I am bringing him to your house so you can meet him. The only words that will come out of your mouth is ‘She trusted God.’ Those are the only words you will be able to say.’

    She never bothered me again and now we are friends.

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    • You have an interesting “Dream Ms. tastybiteweb; it does somehow has a reality that you’re about to meet with a Roofing person of the kind or an Angel. Your friend also seems to have an interesting jealousy over you as their personal friend. You do know Mr. Spock was a bible reader?

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    • @Tastybitewebb Thank you for reading and sharing your experience on my post. I am happy that you are not discouraged and you are trusting God to provide for you. Continue to be faithful to him and walk in his will. I pray he gives you the desires of your heart. Be blessed!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It all comes down to what makes you content. I’m much older than you and am so happily single, I even find it archaic tbh. If it was something that was missing in my life then I would change it. Just as I’m sure you will if and when you want. I personally don’t think marriage is all it’s cut up to be, especially when you think of the complaining women do about their men! Make you happy, that’s what matters 😊🙏🌻

    Liked by 1 person

    • @Kait King Thank you for sharing your perspective. Marriage is hard work but it is not impossible. I have seen a few find something special and i have also seen many live in discontentment or they end in devastation. I strongly agree with you and I am encouraging others not to wait on anyone or thing to be happy. Choose to be happy and live in the now. Live your life without regret. Life will bring changes that we will need to adjust(like Covid-19) but it doesnt mean that we should stop living. Your life is a gift from God and it has purpose and each new day there is always something that you can be thankful for. 🥂#happypeople#happylives

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  4. Pingback: HaPpiLy Ever after …🤔Single – The Tears In Her Eyes

  5. I really enjoyed your post. Both singleness and marriage are gifts from God. They both have a purpose. I am divorced and have been single for almost 20 years. In my earlier years, I obsessed over marriage. One of the best things I ever did was learn to embrace my singleness and just enjoy being with the Lord. I’ve gotten to know Him and myself better. I’ve also been able to serve God and have more freedom to do so because I’m single. I feel happy and content as a single. I admire the couples who are committed to Christ, but I also admire my fellow singles who are committed to Him and fulfilling His purpose within their singleness.

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  6. Being single or being married does make a person ‘happy’ or assured of having a ‘happily ever after’ life. Being YOU – that’s what counts. Just be you – it’s a wonderful place to be happy. xo

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  7. I married in haste…and the scars still burn some days; but at 67, I can testify that God saved the best for me–in giving me contentment and joy as a single woman in my latter years. Don’t feel pressured to marry–God’s timing and choices are frequently so much better than ours. Blessings to you!

    Liked by 4 people

  8. I have a granddaughter over 30, unmarried, childless, and intermittently content with her life. Skince all of us are intermittently question whether are decisions are right I can only’s support her from day today. She is bright, beautiful, caring, and useful to society. Her life is full and fulfilling. What more could any parent or grandparent want? Make your own decisions. It’s your life! xxoo

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  9. I live in Germany, and I am mother of four, all of them thirtyish, none of them has children yet even one is married and two live in Partnerships.
    There was a time when I complained like your parents: why are you still Single? when will I have grandchildren? They stopped me fiercely, and I did not ask again.
    You are a different generation, I have understood that. In Germany next to no person has children below the age of 30, and many are single. It’s just the way it is. Women strive for good jobs and so mit want a husband or look after children. Thats okay. There are good reasons to be married and have a family, and good reasons to stay single. It is your choice. 😊👍

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      • May I ask in which country you live? In more traditional cultures it might be different. Of course I do not know how German parents generally think about there adult children without aiming for an own family.
        As for me, I have not given up hope yet to become a grandmother. 😉 But I do not ask any more.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I live in Jamaica. A friend of mine had her first child at age 27. She recalled that the nurse at the time was in disbelief that she was having her first child. The nurse’s remark was that she had started too late.
          It is common in Jamaica to start your family early. In my family, it is expected to get married first before having a child. Dont give up hope on getting grandchildren. Everything will happen in the right time🤗

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          • When I was young it was over here just like in your country. We married and had children before the age of thirty. Now it is entirely different. I cannnot say what is better. Everybody has to find the own way. Listen to your heart, and maybe not so much to your parents. 😉

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  10. I think the pressure to get married (esp. for girls) is really a 20th century notion nowadays. But…even though I teach 18-22 year olds, what do I really know about their love hopes? My guess…guess, I say, is that people still figure they’ll get married eventually–just not at 21.

    Liked by 3 people

    • @veeds Thank you for sharing. I agree at age 21, many are focusing on achieving their goals whether at college or work. Marriage will ultimately happen somewhere along.

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    • @JT Twissel thank you for reading and sharing on my post. I greatly appreciate it. I find that it is good to have people around. It makes sharing possible. I have also observed that on both sides of a coin are happy and sad people whether married or single.

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  11. Maybe not as intensely, but the men do. These days…who knows? boys and men oiften run wild, acceopt the few with decent parents. My older brother stayed with the same girl for seven years—Senior High through their Batchellor degrees—by the time they married no one was surprised. And for me? Took longerm but my Mom didn’t mention a certain brooch for my first fiance’ which didn’t last—but when I introduced my Diana it took barely 20 minutes before she mentioned to me to go get a certain box from the bedroom—over 32 years ago!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Many single people are perfectly happy being single (I’m glad to hear you are one of them), and many married people are miserable being married. It must be hard to hear others’ taunts and tips, but think of it as an exercise in developing thick skin. Focus on your personal journey and peace of mind.

    Liked by 4 people

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